I learned this week some helpful strategies for being happy in everyday life, some of which I already knew but a couple of new things as well.
One of these things is to look at curiosity in your life. Ask yourself, what it is that makes you curious? Is it something you want to learn about - a skill perhaps, or acquiring knowledge on a topic. What did you find curious in the past week? What did you do about this curiosity?
Another strategy was to look at the element of surprise in your life. when were you surprised in the last week? What surprised you? What could surprise you in the next week? Focus on positive surprises rather than negative ones if you can!
The final one that I will put up today was the question 'When was the last time you did something that caused you not to notice the passing of time?'. Quite often, we get more satisfaction from doing small, focused activities where we are both equally challenged and meeting a certain skill level, than doing nothing ie lying on the couch watching tv. This is called a state of flow, and when we are in a state of flow, we are usually achieving quite well.
So, I guess if you think of curiosity, surprise and being in a state of flow, you can create a happy state of mind. Mix this in with finding gratitude, kindness, positivity and optimism, and humour then you should be set! I also think excitement could be added too - when was the last time you did something exciting? Or were excited about something? What are you excited about now? As we get older, we tend to lose our sense of excitement, and I think that is a sad thing. Without excitement in our lives, we potentially have nothing to live for. It could be something as simple as being excited to have a cup of tea when you get home! it doesn't have to be excitement for a bg holiday or something!
So, that is my happiness chat for the day! Short and sweet and rather brief I am sorry but I am about to go to bed - I just needed to share my thoughts before going to bed and having them clog up my sleep processes!
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Time
Time is something that no human really ever manages well. This is what I imagine at least anyway. Obviously, there are people out there who would manage their time well - they probably have the perfect life balance that we all strive for, and they use their time as best as they can.
But, the average general population probably don't. If I am hazarding a correct guess.
I am speculating about this today because this week is the first week in my LIFE where I feel that perhaps I have actually used my time the best. And it therefore has got me thinking about time.
The first aspect that I think about is my 'free time'. The time I have to myself in which I have a sky's limit amount of things I can do. And, with this time, I usually do very little. Each day that I have a day off I feel hopeful and optimistic, yet at 1:00 in the afternoon I am still sitting on the couch in my pyjamas, thinking that I should probably do something. But at the same time, with the adage 'time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time' lingering in my head, I continue watching whichever TV show I have glued myself to that day, and decide that I am happy doing so and why stop?
And this happens every opportunity I get. To just blob and do nothing, because when i am at work, I am busy.
But lately I have realised that the time when I have been at work or doing things such as the dishes or photo editing or choreographing, I have been more satisfied and I actually enjoy when I have things scheduled in, rather than feeling bitter about having my free time taken away from me.
But in saying that, I have just sat on the couch for an hour and a half doing basically nothing..... If you do nothing, nothing will happen....
And so, I will remove my snuggie and go and tidy the house.....
But, the average general population probably don't. If I am hazarding a correct guess.
I am speculating about this today because this week is the first week in my LIFE where I feel that perhaps I have actually used my time the best. And it therefore has got me thinking about time.
The first aspect that I think about is my 'free time'. The time I have to myself in which I have a sky's limit amount of things I can do. And, with this time, I usually do very little. Each day that I have a day off I feel hopeful and optimistic, yet at 1:00 in the afternoon I am still sitting on the couch in my pyjamas, thinking that I should probably do something. But at the same time, with the adage 'time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time' lingering in my head, I continue watching whichever TV show I have glued myself to that day, and decide that I am happy doing so and why stop?
And this happens every opportunity I get. To just blob and do nothing, because when i am at work, I am busy.
But lately I have realised that the time when I have been at work or doing things such as the dishes or photo editing or choreographing, I have been more satisfied and I actually enjoy when I have things scheduled in, rather than feeling bitter about having my free time taken away from me.
But in saying that, I have just sat on the couch for an hour and a half doing basically nothing..... If you do nothing, nothing will happen....
And so, I will remove my snuggie and go and tidy the house.....
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Teenagers Part 2: Art Makers
I made some of the best art 'of my life' when I was a teenager. I graduated from Uni with a Bachelor of Contemporary Arts at the age of 21, and I thought I was super amazingly talented.
When I was in year 10, I started adult ed photography courses, so by the time I got to Year 11 and 12, I already knew what I was doing with a 35mm SLR Camera, so I thought I was pretty super good at what i did. In year 12, I was one of the top rated students at my college, my work got selected to be exhibited in a show, the college also bought my work, as did a private seller - and my art was 'good'. By the time I got to uni, I was confident in my abilities and got Distinctions and High Distinctions for most of my assignments, and had work selected for student exhibitions etc. And, my art was 'good'.
Same as for dancing - by the time I got to uni, I knew how to choreograph a contemporary dance piece (in the artistic sense with motifs, structure, form etc) so I felt that I was good at that too. I also got Distinctions and High distinctions for most of my choreographic pieces, and I was unique and quirky in my movement so I felt confident in my ability.
So, why then, did I suddenly become such a terrible artist when I left university? My photos were boring, my choreography simplistic, my ideas and stimulus limited. And discouraged by this, I have unknowlingly become less and less inclined to focus on my artistic practice - even though I dream of doing it on an almost weekly, if not daily, basis.
I read a quote on pinterest that it is actually normal for 'new artists' to leave the confines of a structured art degree and feel lost. Unispired. No one to assess our work, to give us feedback, or to criticise us and make us aware of where we went wrong. Except our family and friends who would love what we do regardless. No one to set us with assignments designed to inspire within set parameters - we have no original thought, despite being told we would have. But the quote did go on to say, that if we just keep making art, no matter how bad it is, we will start to improve until we have a sufficient body of work.
I can eventually be a kick arse artist, even if it takes me 50 years to become so.
So this rounds up that section of this entry, howevers the teenager aspect that I have also noticed this week, is what I want to think about next because it links to the idea of being inspired and making art etc.
As a teenager, I made angsty, emotional, pain stricken art work. In both dance and photography. I had no pre-conceived ideas of what I should or shouldn't do, what had or hadn't been 'done' before - I just did. I just made art, whether it was original or not, it was new for me and that was all that mattered.
These days, I do not have such heavy-duty emotions. And when I did, I was so low down in a hole that making art was the last thing on my mind! And it is quite tricky, for me anyway, to make art when I am happy. Well, art that i think is any good anyway... And, I am painfully aware of all my ideas being just weaker copies of something that has been done before, or something that no one would be interested in watching. I could get away with that when I was younger, but no respected artist gets very far being unoriginal.
Teenagers haven't been limited by anything. They seek to do what they have seen before, because it is good and they can replicate it in their own way. Plus, they have the excuse that they are still learning so therefore if a photo or dance or painting or whatever is on the weaker side, one knows they are still learning and appreciates that. But when you leave uni, or whatever, you feel like you now should know it all (even though you know you don't) so replication or making a mistake or creating something mediocre becomes humiliating, rather than forgivable.
So, you just stop making art.
This week I have come to be jealous of the teenagers around me who are making 'the best art of their life' and it saddens me that they may become jaded 20-year-something-olds who no longer make art for arts sake. That they are incapable of pushing through the lack-lustre space of time before hitting the artistic jackpot.
So, I have now come to realise, that as someone who has been out of uni for five years, enough is enough, and I will set out to see if I can ever become the artist I long to be. I aim to achieve this goal by the time I am 55 years old. That should give me plenty of time.
When I was in year 10, I started adult ed photography courses, so by the time I got to Year 11 and 12, I already knew what I was doing with a 35mm SLR Camera, so I thought I was pretty super good at what i did. In year 12, I was one of the top rated students at my college, my work got selected to be exhibited in a show, the college also bought my work, as did a private seller - and my art was 'good'. By the time I got to uni, I was confident in my abilities and got Distinctions and High Distinctions for most of my assignments, and had work selected for student exhibitions etc. And, my art was 'good'.
Same as for dancing - by the time I got to uni, I knew how to choreograph a contemporary dance piece (in the artistic sense with motifs, structure, form etc) so I felt that I was good at that too. I also got Distinctions and High distinctions for most of my choreographic pieces, and I was unique and quirky in my movement so I felt confident in my ability.
So, why then, did I suddenly become such a terrible artist when I left university? My photos were boring, my choreography simplistic, my ideas and stimulus limited. And discouraged by this, I have unknowlingly become less and less inclined to focus on my artistic practice - even though I dream of doing it on an almost weekly, if not daily, basis.
I read a quote on pinterest that it is actually normal for 'new artists' to leave the confines of a structured art degree and feel lost. Unispired. No one to assess our work, to give us feedback, or to criticise us and make us aware of where we went wrong. Except our family and friends who would love what we do regardless. No one to set us with assignments designed to inspire within set parameters - we have no original thought, despite being told we would have. But the quote did go on to say, that if we just keep making art, no matter how bad it is, we will start to improve until we have a sufficient body of work.
I can eventually be a kick arse artist, even if it takes me 50 years to become so.
So this rounds up that section of this entry, howevers the teenager aspect that I have also noticed this week, is what I want to think about next because it links to the idea of being inspired and making art etc.
As a teenager, I made angsty, emotional, pain stricken art work. In both dance and photography. I had no pre-conceived ideas of what I should or shouldn't do, what had or hadn't been 'done' before - I just did. I just made art, whether it was original or not, it was new for me and that was all that mattered.
These days, I do not have such heavy-duty emotions. And when I did, I was so low down in a hole that making art was the last thing on my mind! And it is quite tricky, for me anyway, to make art when I am happy. Well, art that i think is any good anyway... And, I am painfully aware of all my ideas being just weaker copies of something that has been done before, or something that no one would be interested in watching. I could get away with that when I was younger, but no respected artist gets very far being unoriginal.
Teenagers haven't been limited by anything. They seek to do what they have seen before, because it is good and they can replicate it in their own way. Plus, they have the excuse that they are still learning so therefore if a photo or dance or painting or whatever is on the weaker side, one knows they are still learning and appreciates that. But when you leave uni, or whatever, you feel like you now should know it all (even though you know you don't) so replication or making a mistake or creating something mediocre becomes humiliating, rather than forgivable.
So, you just stop making art.
This week I have come to be jealous of the teenagers around me who are making 'the best art of their life' and it saddens me that they may become jaded 20-year-something-olds who no longer make art for arts sake. That they are incapable of pushing through the lack-lustre space of time before hitting the artistic jackpot.
So, I have now come to realise, that as someone who has been out of uni for five years, enough is enough, and I will set out to see if I can ever become the artist I long to be. I aim to achieve this goal by the time I am 55 years old. That should give me plenty of time.
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Teenagers
The wise voices of My Chemical Romance once sang, 'Teenagers Scare the Living Sh*t out of me".
For a middle-of-her-late-twenties person, I spend such an amazing amount of time with teenagers. More time with teenagers than my own family, than my friends of my own age and with my own partner, really. Depending on the place and time, these teenagers function either as my students, my athletes that I coach, my peers, and in some instances, my friends. While they don't particularly scare the living sh*t out of me all that often anymore, they do absolutely fascinate me.
I feel that this could be a rather lengthy journal, and I fear it could get tedious if I just keep going on and on and on so I might discuss a few different things that fascinate me over the course of a couple of entries. That way, if y'all get bored, you can just move on quickly...
Tonight, I found the fascination in the fact that teenagers do a lot of things that they don't enjoy. For example, ballet class. It became very aparent to me tonight that pretty much almost none of the girls in my ballet class actually wanted to be there doing it. And I wondered if they really did actually hate it, or if they were just saying they hated it cos everyone else was hating it so therefore it is cooler to dislike ballet and not pay attention. Or, do they really actually hate it cos it is boring and slow and repetitive? They are also forced to be there cos if they want to jazz and neo-classical, they have to do ballet first. So that could also be a contributing factor.
But me, I chose to do the class because I desperately need to get my dance technique back in track, I need some mental discipline and I appreciate how effective having strong ballet technique is for all other genres of dance. So I love ballet class, for the first time in my life - when i was younger I hated it because I was so terrible at it. I am still terrible now, but I can find the humour in my terrible-ness.
It made me feel sad for these teenagers who were hating the class and not seeing the beauty and grace in what they were doing. I didn't get to do ballet until quite late in my dance training, hence my lack of skill in that style, so these girls are so lucky they get to do it now so that their bodies can be stronger.
And then it makes me feel sad that so many years of my life were wasted being a teenager who hated everything. It really must be a right of passage - you hate everything in your teens and then grow to love and appreciate everything through the course of your twenties, so then you can really live in your 30s as a super well adjusted adult...
I used to play squash, I went to dance - tap, jazz, irish, contemporary, I played the clarinet, I did subjects I loved at school, I spent time with friends etc etc. Yet I hated going to all those things, I hated so many people and even at times my friends annoyed me so I hated them. So while I loved my hobbies, at the same time, I hated going to them. HOW WEIRD IS THAT? The more I think of how depressing being a teenager was, the more I think of how sad it is that my life was spent like that for so long! I really do vow to be not like a teenager for the rest of my life so that it hopefully cancels itself out!
So, the funny thing is, is that a previous journal (i am awkward with the word blog so I am calling my blog my journal) entry was saying how last week I hated what I was doing. That will now be known as my Teenager Moment. The moment when you hate something you actually really love.
And this is why teenagers scare me. Because even when you think you aren't one, you have a teenager moment.
For a middle-of-her-late-twenties person, I spend such an amazing amount of time with teenagers. More time with teenagers than my own family, than my friends of my own age and with my own partner, really. Depending on the place and time, these teenagers function either as my students, my athletes that I coach, my peers, and in some instances, my friends. While they don't particularly scare the living sh*t out of me all that often anymore, they do absolutely fascinate me.
I feel that this could be a rather lengthy journal, and I fear it could get tedious if I just keep going on and on and on so I might discuss a few different things that fascinate me over the course of a couple of entries. That way, if y'all get bored, you can just move on quickly...
Tonight, I found the fascination in the fact that teenagers do a lot of things that they don't enjoy. For example, ballet class. It became very aparent to me tonight that pretty much almost none of the girls in my ballet class actually wanted to be there doing it. And I wondered if they really did actually hate it, or if they were just saying they hated it cos everyone else was hating it so therefore it is cooler to dislike ballet and not pay attention. Or, do they really actually hate it cos it is boring and slow and repetitive? They are also forced to be there cos if they want to jazz and neo-classical, they have to do ballet first. So that could also be a contributing factor.
But me, I chose to do the class because I desperately need to get my dance technique back in track, I need some mental discipline and I appreciate how effective having strong ballet technique is for all other genres of dance. So I love ballet class, for the first time in my life - when i was younger I hated it because I was so terrible at it. I am still terrible now, but I can find the humour in my terrible-ness.
It made me feel sad for these teenagers who were hating the class and not seeing the beauty and grace in what they were doing. I didn't get to do ballet until quite late in my dance training, hence my lack of skill in that style, so these girls are so lucky they get to do it now so that their bodies can be stronger.
And then it makes me feel sad that so many years of my life were wasted being a teenager who hated everything. It really must be a right of passage - you hate everything in your teens and then grow to love and appreciate everything through the course of your twenties, so then you can really live in your 30s as a super well adjusted adult...
I used to play squash, I went to dance - tap, jazz, irish, contemporary, I played the clarinet, I did subjects I loved at school, I spent time with friends etc etc. Yet I hated going to all those things, I hated so many people and even at times my friends annoyed me so I hated them. So while I loved my hobbies, at the same time, I hated going to them. HOW WEIRD IS THAT? The more I think of how depressing being a teenager was, the more I think of how sad it is that my life was spent like that for so long! I really do vow to be not like a teenager for the rest of my life so that it hopefully cancels itself out!
So, the funny thing is, is that a previous journal (i am awkward with the word blog so I am calling my blog my journal) entry was saying how last week I hated what I was doing. That will now be known as my Teenager Moment. The moment when you hate something you actually really love.
And this is why teenagers scare me. Because even when you think you aren't one, you have a teenager moment.
Monday, 2 April 2012
Diaries
I am an obsessive diary and journal keeper. I have kept a diary since 1997 when I was 13. Back then, it started out as just documenting what i did that day. Gradually I started using it more to vent about conversations i had with people (boy, was I detailed!), bitching about people I hated, boys I loved, Hanson, Backstreet Boys etc etc. Then I saw 'The Basketball Diaries' (a movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio in his youth) in grade 9 or 10 and I desperately wanted to keep a journal more like the character in the movie. Strangely enough, it was around that time that i first had my heart completely broken by a boy, and I found it impossible to complete the rest of my diary from October 13th 2000 - i found my pain and heartbreak too much to handle writing about, and as such, all of my memories for the end of year ten were lost, because I stopped writing and didn't start again until 2001. That was when I started my journal in a not so rigid day-to-day blow by blow account, ala Jim Carroll on the Basketball Diaries. that first journal was even all black, to try and match his.
Over the years, these journals have multiplied in number. I have filled probably 10 or more notebooks, each with 300 pages or so. this probably barely compares to the number of some other people - over time i have gotten lazy, or less dependant on them - i only write in them when i feel the need these days. But they are still ever there.
On top of that, I have art journals, and a happiness notebook, and a dream diary which i am trying to remember to put my dreams in... and my blog(s)!.
So many notebooks filling my house with all my brain juice.
But the funny thing is that while I have all of those things, the one thing i am missing is a notebook I kept in high school that had all my favourite quotes, poems, song lyrics, ideas etc. I lost it when i moved back to my home city after living away for awhile - I couldn't find it when I unpacked my stuff and i think it was in a box of DVDs that 'never made it' off the removalist truck - presumed stolen. My DVDs have since been replaced and stuff, but that notebook has left some weird kind of void in my mind. Every now and then i think to myself, oh yeah there was a quote from Shakespeare that I loved, if only I had that book...
I have contemplated starting a new one. Lord knows I have enoguh empty notebooks here to fulfil that purpose. But my chronological brain can't handle starting a new one without the old one.
I hate to think some awful removalist was going through the dvd box and just chucked it in the bin.
So, now that I have typed this blog entry, I realised that my brain was the only obstacle standing in my way, as per usual. I aint getting the book back, and I sure as hell will never get to fill the last of those pages, so I am better off to start a new one than to have none at all.
I would love to know if anyone who reads this out there in the weboland - if there is anyone out there in weboland who reads my blogs - if there are quotes you live by or song lyrics or poems that you could give me to start me off.... cos I don't know where to start!!
In the meantime, if you have ever found a little notebook with a green hologrphic cover... that's mine, biatch!!!
Over the years, these journals have multiplied in number. I have filled probably 10 or more notebooks, each with 300 pages or so. this probably barely compares to the number of some other people - over time i have gotten lazy, or less dependant on them - i only write in them when i feel the need these days. But they are still ever there.
On top of that, I have art journals, and a happiness notebook, and a dream diary which i am trying to remember to put my dreams in... and my blog(s)!.
So many notebooks filling my house with all my brain juice.
But the funny thing is that while I have all of those things, the one thing i am missing is a notebook I kept in high school that had all my favourite quotes, poems, song lyrics, ideas etc. I lost it when i moved back to my home city after living away for awhile - I couldn't find it when I unpacked my stuff and i think it was in a box of DVDs that 'never made it' off the removalist truck - presumed stolen. My DVDs have since been replaced and stuff, but that notebook has left some weird kind of void in my mind. Every now and then i think to myself, oh yeah there was a quote from Shakespeare that I loved, if only I had that book...
I have contemplated starting a new one. Lord knows I have enoguh empty notebooks here to fulfil that purpose. But my chronological brain can't handle starting a new one without the old one.
I hate to think some awful removalist was going through the dvd box and just chucked it in the bin.
So, now that I have typed this blog entry, I realised that my brain was the only obstacle standing in my way, as per usual. I aint getting the book back, and I sure as hell will never get to fill the last of those pages, so I am better off to start a new one than to have none at all.
I would love to know if anyone who reads this out there in the weboland - if there is anyone out there in weboland who reads my blogs - if there are quotes you live by or song lyrics or poems that you could give me to start me off.... cos I don't know where to start!!
In the meantime, if you have ever found a little notebook with a green hologrphic cover... that's mine, biatch!!!
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